because it’s admitting defeat to yourself, admitting that you can no longer keep it together and you just have to spew tears to show how weak you are. and then you’re sitting there, or standing there, completely naked, stripped of everything. you’re bare, and people see you for who you are, and there’s no way to undo what has already happened. people see a side of you that completely changes how they see you, and most of the time, it’s for the worse. it’s that moment when you realize your life is out of control, and has always been out of control, and that you have nothing together. you don’t have the slightest clue what you’re doing with yourself, and you don’t want to explain. you don’t want anyone to listen, you don’t want any comfort. you just want to be there by yourself to cry, but people insist on helping you.