November 2010
I remember awakening one morning and finding everything smeared with the color...
– What Matters Most is How Well You Walk Through the Fire by Charles Bukowski (via thechocolatebrigade)
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i'll be the first to admit it,
as followed by others. yes, i am screwed up. i am very much screwed up. not in what you would expect. not the type when too much alcohol is consumed, when too many joints are lit, or the nights that are spent away. no, i am not like that. but i am still fucked up, just as badly as you. i am not normal, i am indecisive, i am contradictory, i am tangled up, some of those knots were created by me,...
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i want to live a thousand different lives. i want to read books for the rest of my life. i want to travel. i want to be in school. i want to fall in love. i want to discover myself. i want to learn about others. i want to know what all these feelings and emotions mean. i want to know why i’m incapable of letting go when all i want to do is escape. i want balance and i want chaos. i want to...
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i started crying because i was so upset by the...
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go ahead, keep finding flaws in everyone you know
but what happens when the greatest person rolls around? you are still going to escape, aren’t you. you’re still going to find something wrong with them when they are perfectly imperfect for you. you’re going to find a reason to run away. you’re always going to find a reason to leave as long as it prevents you from getting close.
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you're coming dangerously close to disappearing
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once,
i told a friend that i don’t have real friends and he didn’t believe me. he raised his eyebrow, quirked his head, looked at me straight in the eye and said, “you have real friends. everyone likes you. you walk into a room and everyone greets you with hugs and smiles.”
but it’s never that easy. when i get a burst of sadness, who do i crawl to? who do i rush to with...
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I’m just having all these feelings and I don’t know what they mean....
– Lois Lane, Smallville
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want to know what i miss most about being a...
i miss feeling alive, and being alive, and being so euphoric and so depressed and being a mess. hating everything and loving everything and being so conflicted but somehow it doesn’t bother you, because you love the chaos in your life. and now look at me. i’m living in the middle. i laugh a little, i love a little, i rarely discover who i am or what life has to offer me.
i hardly know...
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