“The best moments in reading are when you come across something - a thought, a feeling, a way of looking at things - which you had thought special and particular to you. And now, here it is, set down by someone else, a person you have never met, someone even who is long dead. And it is as if a hand has come out, and taken yours.”—Alan Bennett (via pavorst)
My boss is seriously one of my favorite people in the whole world. We just sat for an hour and a half today talking about love, taking risks, why some people are so afraid to be alone, moving on, and then we talked about being crazy and made lunatic jokes about being creepy and I’m sure the whole library could hear us laugh. She makes me laugh soooooo hard hahaha
"i feel like raves are this secret world, like the secret world itself, the secret world of happy loving people, the secret world of music" "when i was younger, i always dreamed of another reality, another world. i dreamt of it at night, i daydreamed of it. this was mostly before the divorce when reality really settled in. and i feel like i’ve found that world. its my world, but its our world and we share it with so many others. its this beautiful reality separate from this worlds reality and i just want to grab peoples hand and pull them behind me, beckon them to follow and bring them into this world and show them all the beauty and the wonder. all the things that make me so happy. i want to share my world with others. i want them to see. it’s so rich" "it’s a reality that can be seen that isn’t just some imaginative place in our world, that doesn’t exist, but does" "yes. and it hits so deep within both of us, that showing that world to others will be like showing them a piece of our soul, unveiling a part of our soul for them to look upon" "i just want people to understand how much heart and soul raves are for us. a place to escape. not into fantasy, but just into another reality, a reality that is tangible and is REAL. you just have to step into it for the first time" "its real, its there, and its wonderful. and once you get past seeing things at raves and associating or judging them based on things in this reality, you can see them for what they really are. see them in a whole new way. step into a reality that is very real for us. that represents so much for us" "i think taking people to a rave (for us) is more opening than most things that we do" "yes. i 100% agree. it is showing them truth."
We had a different kind of love, a different kind of bond. We needed each other to survive. We had no choice but to be close to each other, because we were the ones that held each other together despite what we believe. We were such broken people - it’s amazing to simply see us be happy. We’re all far away from each other now, but I think it’s best that way. I wouldn’t have chosen to be with any other people. I will never forget the three of us sleeping in one bed, skipping down the streets of downtown as we danced to the beats of the universe. We all have something in common: we are afraid of being close to others. So terrifyingly scared. i think that’s what brought us together. I think one day we will find love and keep it, because we will learn that we cannot search for broken love and insist on surrounding ourselves with what is bad for us. We will learn to keep what is good for us. We may not have found love now, but we will.
"you’re going to grad school immediately though, right?" "not no mo!" "why aren’t you?" "because i want to live and not worry about finances. grad school is all about living and securing your future. i just want to live in the present."
Part of me wishes that I did like you, just to remember what that felt like. I think I did at some point, unconsciously, but I consciously and actively prevented myself from liking you. Because it would mean hurting myself and we both know we would never work. I will always have enjoyed having you in the moments that I did, because I was able to feel some sort of belonging. We understood each other through emotions, not words. The words defeated the purpose. I will always remember the way you smiled and how adorable you looked when your head was tilted at an angle. How you would never challenge me. How you always accepted me. The other day, a friend told me, “you enjoy the challenge of the thinkers, and I enjoy the warmth of the feelers.” I hope you know, you are the only feeler I’ve ever really interacted with as far as boys go. I want a feeler like you in my life. I want that warmth to stay. I want to feel safe in someone’s arms, as if it wouldn’t matter if the world didn’t exist tomorrow. Thank you for showing me that love should never be difficult. You were the only one.
ISFX’s tend to be the most sensitive to words when communicating with another, such as confrontation, sarcasm, or one bringing up a past mistake. Instead of overtly displaying that they are upset or frustrated, they tend to get their point across through passive aggressive behaviors.
ESTPs do not use metaphors in their speech, nor do they try to circulate around what they are trying to say. If you ask an ESTP an opinion or question, they will provide a direct answer. ESTPs tend to value honesty, which can be problematic when it comes to feelings and emotions. Because they do value truth, the way they speak may come off as insensitive when involved in confrontation because of their harsh language.
It was suddenly all replaying in my head. It was chilly and it was March 2007 and the night had fallen upon us. It started pouring and we were in the middle of the parking lot. And we just danced and waved our hair around as if nothing else existed. And then we looked up at each other and laughed about how cold we were and how drenched our clothes were, and then we ran into Starbucks to laugh about it all over again.
There is something about this town. There is something about these memories. There is something about the people I grew up with that make you crave for more. There is something about me that I’ve left here. There is treasure in all that is lost.