"I love him. I want to fucking marry him. I wish I could be with him for the rest of my life. But I know he’s not the one for me." "I hate how that works, how you just know it won’t work out with someone." "And you don’t know if you should let go now or wait to suffer in the end."
"I think I’m too independent for love." "I think you are too." "I feel like I’m bad at falling in love, or staying in love. I used to be afraid of love. To an extent, I still am, but not too much. I just don’t really see it in my life. I’m too much of a wanderer. I can’t commit myself because I just can’t see myself doing that. I also thrive for perfection and most boys don’t really capture my interest."
It’s nice having that friend who listens to you and then they break down everything you say and give you a realistic perspective in a sentence or two without all the tangly emotions and descriptions. Really though, this is actually quite the basis of our friendship.
"i don’t know why i talk to you" "to remind you that the world is not all puppies and rainbows but also to remind you that it’s not all bullshit and craycray” "aka to make sure i’m not overly happy or suicidal" "exactly i’m keeping you grounded in reality”
i always forget how dramatic and funny we are until we talk. you effortlessly remind me to be simple and to joke around about things that don’t even matter. i’m glad that you believe that you have been such a one of a kind in my life and that no one, i mean absolutely no one, could come even close to how eccentrically amazing you are.
iwubbyouuuu. nao let’s visit each other so we can fuck up the town with our craziness
EXTX personalities tend to come off as emotionless, but they are not heartless in the least. They are just bad at understanding their emotions, therefore, most times, they do not express them very well, especially when it is needed in situations that involve being emphatic and patient.
Everyone wants me to go to graduate school. I think I am meant for too many things and I’m not sure how to balance them all. Or..maybe it is that I balance them too well. Who knows?! I want to live a thousand lives - I really do. I am the girl that bakes and cooks and there is never enough time to make everything that I want. I am the girl that has never had a job in which I have not interacted with children, because there is never enough time to escape into children’s thinking and to enjoy the simplicity of being carefree. I am the girl that reads, who sits in her bed and thinks, but there is never enough time to organize my thoughts, to read all the books that are collecting dust on my shelf. I am the girl that parties and raves, that finds sheer excitement in being in an environment that defies reality, but there is never enough money, recovery time, and brain cells for me to live a life like that. I am the girl that loves one-on-one conversations, yet there is nothing that I enjoy more than instantly becoming friends with strangers at a party.
I am the girl that is studious, and yet I am the girl that is crazy. I don’t know which one I am. I think I’m both. I think that sucks as far as making long-term decisions in the future.
I want to learn. I want to go to graduate school. Right after I graduate? No. A few years afterward? Maybe. Who knows. I’m completely content with the amount of knowledge I have and how much I absorb. An education cannot defy that.
A couple days ago at a party I was talking to a guy and I asked if he went to UC Santa Cruz or Cabrillo College. And he said, “I’m not in school. I hate school. But I love learning!” And I said, “Have you ever heard the quote, ‘The only thing getting in the way of my learning is my education’” His face lit up, and then we immediately clicked and went from there.
I just want to learn and I just want to be. Societal pressure is too confining. I’m glad I’m not confined by it.
It’s all bittersweet, really. Part of me wishes I would like you. Part of me is glad that I don’t as far as circumstances and who we are. That this sort of detachment isn’t a detachment in the sense that I’m afraid to be close to you, because that isn’t the case at all.
We talk about a lot of things. We’re so comfortable around each other. We will always be friends. I think you’re scared of hurting me, but you don’t understand how you could never hurt me. Not because I am not a sensitive, protective girl, but because I know you. We know each other without even saying anything. You don’t ever have to worry about me. You shouldn’t worry about yourself either. It’s weird, when you talk about how stressed you are, when you are so hard on yourself, it reminds me of me. Correction, it reminds me of who I used to be. I see so many of my traits in you. We’re both good people. What soars through both of us is so indescribable. It’s a feeling that could never be deciphered into words. It’s so strong and so there. The understanding is there. Temporary love that lasts for a lifetime. I still can’t even begin to put the feelings into something tangible. I like that, though. It’s an NF thing :) Only NFs together feel it. It’s true. People never understand how much love NFs are capable of, how we find love in nearly everything.
I just want to meet someone who I can grow to love. Maybe this is a sign that it is possible. Or maybe this is a sign that it isn’t. Will I ever fall in love besides just in the moment?
“Maybe I’m dreaming you. Maybe you’re dreaming me; maybe we only exist in each other’s dreams and every morning when we wake up we forget all about each other.”—The Time Traveler’s Wife (via paperlover)
Sometimes you meet people who are amazing. Sometimes you tell them that. No hidden meaning, no attachments no expectations, just love. The best things in life are telling other people how much you mean to them.