“i wonder what bryan’s guy friends that i know think actually, like jr and jack. i asked jenny and she was like, “honestly, i think everyone thinks you’re good for him. and that you can actually make him happy” and it was really cool that she said that… like it’s good to actually get some feedback, you know? i hate asking questions regarding bryan because i don’t want to know.. like it’s better for me to live in ignorance and focus on the now and not ask for input because it will affect how i act. people always think i know what i’m doing but i don’t. i’m just trusting him and trusting myself.”—Me
“but f’real, ever since bryan, whom quite honestly is good for you, you’ve been like “SHIT’S BEEN OUTTA CONTROL!” and i’m like “nah not really, everything is actually really normal, healthy even.”—Chives
Yep. You’re still the cutest person ever. Thank you for running errands with me. You’re the only person I’ve ever run errands with. Ironic how we did that the first time we hung out. I’m so used to doing everything alone. I’m still realizing how much I trust you. It is okay that you don’t like me back. I’m just glad to have someone like you in my life.
I want to do something in the future where I can change people. I want to work with personality and relationships and emotions. Friendships, love affairs, broken souls, give it to me all.
But I wouldn’t be a therapist or a psychiatrist. I would be your friend. We can get lunch and we can do things that you like. And day by day, you’d make the choice to open up to me. And if you didn’t, that’d be fine too.
I think that’s the problem with therapy, everything is too one-sided. We hear problems from the person, but we never receive an outsider’s perspective. We think a problem can be tackled head on, but we don’t realize the web of feelings and moments and thoughts that play their roles. If I were to work with someone, I’d want to be there. There, as in, in the moment, in their life. I want to go to their home. I want to see their group of friends. I want to live with them, as long as they let me. I want to be a part of it, observe it, feel it, take it in.
I’ll find a way to make a beautiful career out of this. And I’m excited. :)
“Just enjoy the moment and be happy that he’s there. We take people for granted. We expect instead of enjoying. Just appreciate the fact that he’s there next to you every night. And smile that you able to enjoy such a perfect moment in time.”—Me
"Life is amazing. Everyday, I feel like I’m flying. I enjoy life as if I’m seeing it for the first time. Life is too short to not have it be so adventurous. The past 2 months have taught me that. I can’t even take a break even if I want to." "You’re lucky you’re living the life most people dream about! Especially in college." "It’s simple. Just do what you want. That’s all. Run after your dreams. It’s that simple."
“Patience is a wonderful virtue that yields indescribable results. Just remember that there is a silver lining. That time shouldn’t boggle you down. It’s the connection that matters. Time is irrelevant in the grander scheme”—Me
I just want you to know that you cannot be happier than me. I am so in love with my best friends. And I feel bad for everyone who doesn’t know them, because I get to experience their happiness and love too. I can feel it from miles and miles away and there is so much love that I just want to cry.
"I hope Bryan feels the way I do." "Why?" "So you can feel at ease too." "You just learned to sympathize with me, Jenny."
And then she screamed and laughed and cried. :)
It’s amazing. It’s amazing when you can teach someone to enjoy the beauties of life, the small things.
"I said thanks for letting me come over to say hi and he said you’re welcome? You’re silly, don’t even have to thank me for that. He could have said this before and I would have been bland to it but now, it means something. It meant he cared." "See. It’s been there the whole time. He didn’t have to say you’re welcome. And you didn’t even have to say thank you. That’s just one moment of compassion, and now you will be able to see the rest of it. Your relationship is full of meaning and little acts that have been brought into your awareness." "I never took it in before but he always texts thank you to me, thanks for dropping me off, thanks for an awesome night, thanks for letting me crash at your place, thanks for etc. I just thought he was holding back, being polite, the way he was brought up. But now iti s more that he always wanted to show me that he appreciated what I did for him."
"It’s going to be overwhelming, isn’t it? I’m just slowly easing into this but once I see it all, there is gonna be a lot. I get you, now. How overwhelmed you are all the time by all the little things. How emotional you are."
"I feel like you know where him and I are going to end up, you know the path we’re going to take. But you’re not gonna tell either of us because you want us to find out for ourselves. You always do that. You make people figure it out even though you know the answer." "That’s where real self-growth happens. If someone tells you, if someone else shows you, it doesn’t have the same effect. I can only open you up to it. I can’t take you there."
"Remember earlier when you told me you said I knew the end point of you two?" "Yeah." "What if there is no end point? What if this is the beginning? What if it’s always the beginning? Like you’re always barely starting to know them, because there’s always so much to discover. It’s all about perspective."
"You knew the whole 8 hours we were talking that I was doubting myself." "The whole time you kept saying "he..trusts..me..he never doubted me…" but you were actually just doubting yourself. You, me, everyone else - we all have to trust ourselves first before we can trust someone else." "You were so patient with me the whole 8 hours you talked to me. I don’t know how you do it with Bryan."
"This was like a fucking therapy session!" "That will be 500 dollars…"
"You’re amazing. Beautiful. Whatever you do in the future, I know you’re doing it with heart. You’re going to change everyone."
"STOP BRAINFUCKING ME RIGHT NOW." ahaha <3
I’m so in love with life and its capabilities. I’m in love with people and it’s only the beginning.
"He gets really embarrassed when people ask about you." "But he never gets embarrassed." "Exactly. He gets a little shy and doesn’t want to talk about it and immediately changes the topic."
"Yeah either he or I bring you up. He doesn’t say a lot, but we always talk about you when we hang out." ”..he actually mentions me?” "Yeah, why wouldn’t he?"
"One day he was talking to me about he really doesn’t want to date you. And I asked him when did you ever give that impression that you wanted to date him and he didn’t answer. And then I said, "Lucie’s the type of person that wants to be there for you, but you don’t her be that person for you. That’s all she’s trying to do."
A friend who hasn’t trusted and has been closed off has been broken down by me and now she officially trusts her friend more than anything. I’m starting to believe how…amazing this is.
"I want you to talk to him. I want you to talk to my other friend too. I want everyone to talk to you. You break people down and help them realize so much of themselves."
"I’m so used to looking for ways in which he isn’t gonna betray me." "You can’t do that. You have to feel it. And believe it. You can’t see it with the naked eye."
"He’s always trusted you. He’s never doubted you. You take him out of his comfort zone."
"Life seems so clear." "It’s amazing..isn’t it?"
"I feel so…free…so…light. I feel..silly."
We talked for 8 hours and she cried of happiness the whole day and it was one of the most amazing things I’ve ever experienced. A few weeks ago, my housemate told me that I taught him how to let love in, and I started crying in front of him. I think the power to change people is amazing. I think what’s even better is when people have this realization that life isn’t so scary, that life is full of lightness and potential. The looks on their faces are absolutely indescribable.
Jenny: “You better me.” Me: “No that’s silly” Jenny: “I’ve grown more in the last 2 months because of you than I ever have.” Me: “That’s because of you.” Jenny: “No I’m serious. Ask Joy.” Joy: “She’s telling the truth Lucie.” Jenny: “Kelsey and David are really lucky to have you as their best friends.” Me: “No, they aren’t..”
And that’s when I walked out of the room and started to cry because I was so overwhelmed. I guess I have a lot to work on. Bleck. 5am is no fun. I want to go home.
Two weeks ago, I was driving with bryan trying to find a parking spot and there was a spot but I would have to parallel park..and I didn’t know how to. And he said, “ill direct you, its fine. Its really easy!” and I freaked out and drove away and ended up letting him drive my car. Yesterday, by myself, I (really) parallel parked for the first time. And the spot was pretty open and I’m sure a truck parked there beforehand, but I actually did it.
This is one of the many examples of how you’ve changed my life forever. You give me this sort of confidence, this feeling that I should try and it will be fine in the end. I used to think I would never learn how to parallel park because it made me so anxious. But you changed that. Even when you’re not there, you still linger around. Its one of the many little things you’ve done to help me. Thank you :)