things that stress me out:
1. not being able to go through my dashboard in one day
do you ever start to read someone’s writing and you can feel their emotion rush right through you in the first sentence?. and you think it’s just you, but it’s really their emotions taking over. and then you’re sad over their sadness. and it all becomes clear what kind of life they’ve been living, even if you may not know the details. somehow they’ve become a friend. like a faraway penpal. like someone you want to take care of. and you want to write to them, "i get you. the loneliness is hard. some people have lived with loneliness their whole life, they don’t have a home. i don’t know you but i can and will and do love you. and those words are cliche, but there is nothing else that can encompass what i’m trying to say. and i hope one day the world appears sunny to you on a dark day. someone once told me that a stranger’s kindness is sometimes the most important, it rearranges our reality, so i hope this sparks a light in your heart that you’ve made a cave. i hope this turns your heart into a home."
there are a million books to read, songs to lose yourselves in, different kinds of tea to drink, wine to sip. how can you ever be lonely?
birth control is just another term for complaining. I am sitting in my room with ear plugs in because I can’t stand to hear any noise coming from anyone in this apartment while I read. why has birth control turned me into a cranky grandma
I just started birth control and it’s got my hormones acting all funny, and I am seeing sadness everywhere. I feel 11 and 14 and 19 and 21 all at once, and I wake up crying. I even dream in sadness. I feel like a puddle, the downside of water, where I don’t know my boundaries but everything seems to be a limitation. I feel like the water in a water bottle sitting in a car on a hot day just about to explode. I want to flow like water. I want to stop feeling like there is a hail storm inside of me and rather feel the rainbow. this is a horrible nightmare