when did we learn it was more important to hide our emotions than to reveal them? why are we trying so hard to be people and qualities and images we aren’t? why do we put on a face instead of being our true selves? why is it wrong to feel? why do we grow up telling people we “feel too much” as if it’s a poor excuse for what we’re going to say next? we are all soft, with delicate feelings and warm souls, but that’s so hard to see when people react to each other’s feelings as if they were shards. i don’t know why we can’t all be there for each other, like we have to prove to others why they should care about us.
California is really dry.
i am my greatest when i can share my existence.
there is a certain current in our lives, a certain flow, that defines everything. i tell myself that i can pick and choose the details of my life, but i can only decide so much. but i repeat this so much to myself that i think i can block out certain aspects while keeping others flowing through me. but everything is as great as its weakest link. one of the things i’ve had to learn, to really learn, is to let love in. it’s so easy to love others, because it means they don’t have to love me. i create a jaded experience when i live like that. it’s so easy to give, so easy to reject love. so easy to take care of others, so easy to neglect myself. i’ve had to learn to recognize myself as important. as incredibly special. as infinitely meaningful. it takes courage to accept love from others, because it’s a representation of how i feel about myself. i had to stop seeing life and people and experiences and things as the only things beautiful, because it was ultimately diverting myself away from the most crucial top of all…
i can’t recognize all the beauty in the world without recognizing my own, because it would always lead me back to a dark place. all these notions i’m defined by: fear of rejection, fear of not being loved, fear of not being good enough, etc., it isn’t that fear defines me, but love is like a short-lived high when it coexists with fear. love is driven by fear, and loves loses to fear, no matter how much i tried.
here is to undoing fear.
here is to embracing love.
to love, and to be loved - that is my highest potential.
one cannot exist without the other.
WHERE IS THIS FROM