One of these days when I am just tipsy enough, I swear I’m going to drive up to your house and knock on your door with a heart full of love that hasn’t changed since the first time we met. And then you’ll have to decide what to do with me. Because I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I am a different person with every person I interact. But when I’m with you, I feel real. I feel alive. It was you that saved me from me. You brought me back to life. Better yet, you showed me that I was never dead. There was a silence in your eyes, an understanding. I became that silence. The history of me is the my love for you - an uproaring silence.

For reasons that have already been explained more than a million times, you are the only for me.

Oh won’t you please come back.

“I end up crying a lot, usually in private. I also can’t sleep over at friends’ apartments because I get panicky. I’m not very good with people.”
“What do you think is going on?”
“I feel too much. That’s what’s going on.”
“Do you think one can feel too much? Or just feel in the wrong ways?”
“My insides don’t much up with my outsides.”
“Do anyone’s insides and outsides match up?”
“I don’t know. I’m only me.”
“Maybe that’s what a person’s personality is: the difference between the inside and outside.”

-Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, Jonathan Safran Foer

Everything depends on how much courage you have. They say you get what you deserve. You get however much you’re willing to ask.

I want to pinpoint you
back to the time
before the emotions
took over us, before
history rewrote and erased
us, before time became
idle

I want to find you
in the moment when you
reappear, when you
come back.

I want to find you
in my future, in
ours.

Someone once told you that you must sit up straight. Do not bite your nails. Look at people in the eye. Always greet people properly. Always proceed a ‘hello’ with ‘how are you’, but never cross any sensitive boundaries. Someone once told you that chaos is insanity, that spontaneity is dangerous. Well I’m going to tell you something a little different. You go ahead and be chaotic. You go ahead and do what your heart desires. You need a little spunk, a little sass, and a lot of heart to get through all this hell. Dance, my love, dance. It’s the only way you’ll understand that you can transform this hell into your own heaven. Dance, throw those arms up. Close your eyes. Sway your head to the rhythm in your head. Music is how we rediscover ourselves, after all. Dream. Release every demon. Do it. And when you do, scream at the top of your lungs until every inch of your body screams with joy with you. Find that wild spirit within you. You will need it.

“how come every photo i upload on facebook is either of the toddlers or alcohol?”
“those must be your two loves”

do you remember when i drew shapes on your palm and i asked you to guess what they were?

lalala i miss you

maybe
we keep this pain around
because pain does not know
what it is
without us