the world is full of monsters only because we have been told to be scared of our lightness.
what matters is love. it’s not the conflicts, the separation, the arguments, the seemingly lack of change, the seemingly lack of hope, the judgments, the seemingly lack of feeling heard. what matters is love. it’s the laughter, the hugs, the long conversations late at night, the good memories, the soon-to-be even better memories, the growth, the appreciation of one another,
the very aspect that you are able to
feel love, to give love, and to
be alive in that love.
don’t let yourself be consumed by the negativity because if you do, you’ll let it fuel you. but don’t forget about it, because it’ll come back to haunt you when you least expect it.
don’t let yourself grow hard from love. please don’t. so many people live this life wondering if their live will play out the way they want it to. well here’s
it will, if you stop worrying.
the silver lining:
it already is
your life already is playing out the way
you just forgot
every moment we worry about love, we lose a moment to love the other, ourselves, and the world.
don’t let love make you serious. don’t. because then what does it become? it becomes a chore. let love make you soft. silly. passionate. wondrous. that way love can enrapture us.
love conquers you, so let it happen. let yourself remember.
my apartment is so lovely. everything is coming together so wonderfully (in all aspects of my life). i don’t know. the past few months of my life was sort of hectic. i haven’t really updated much since july, have i? my goodness. well, i am a life skills coach now for adults with developmental disabilities. i have made a new best friend. we’re sort of known for going out together. i live with two new roommates who are happily in love(and a dog!) and, well, i also live with my boyfriend. he moved in about two months into us dating, but due to him living two hours away, he was often at my apartment for 3-4 days at a time. it’s silly, i know, but i love him and i want him here and he didn’t even think twice about moving here, and i think that’s just lovely. life is so different when you’re involved in a serious relationship. i’m always thinking about the future while overlapped in the present. but it’s so fun, so so so fun. but anywho, that’s a story for another day. my life for the past 4 months has been entirely based on adjusting and adjusting. i felt as if there was a lot going on, and now suddenly but surely and magically and fantastically, my life is falling into place. it’s always a nice feeling - knowing that your life can feel as close to perfect as it is, derived from such simple things. that’s my favorite part of anything: being grateful.
today as i was leaving the cafe with one of my clients, he says “and remember - always look up. look up at the sky. look at the clouds, what does that say? it’s so powerful. and then look up over there, the buildings with the two lit up squares with the sky as a backdrop. and then the two trees by the building. everything is poetry”
to which i said, “yes, yes it is. and i hope you eat lovely poetry for dinner!”
ah, meaningful moments are such the beauty.
your life is your child. raise it well.
There is an estimated death toll of 10,000 with hundreds of thousands more being uprooted from their homes in the aftermath of Typhoon Haiyan. The best way to help from afar is by donating to one of the following trusted organizations that are already working on the ground…
i really appreciate thumbtacks. no really, they save me from all my chaos. i can organize everything with thumbtacks. my headbands, my hats, my necklaces, my headphones. i just love them. i think i will dedicate today to appreciating the durability of thumbtacks and how they bring such joy to my life. yes. that’s all. okay moving on to the next post now…
what controls you?
is it internal? guilt? self-consciousness? irrational thoughts? anxiety?
is it external? finance? your parents? your current location? schooling? the news? friends?
when we become anxious in our anxiety, angry at our anger, irrational in our irrational thoughts - you name it - we are controlled by it. we are attached to our worst selves, whether knowingly or not, it penetrates us and prevents us from seeing clearly. but that’s just it: we think our fears help us. and this is true…to a certain degree. nobody can be without fear, but there is a difference between being aware of your fear and being controlled by it.
when you can find what controls you, you musn’t be upset at yourself. this is not the way to cope with the realization, you must see that you are hyperaware of something in your life. are you hyperaware of each dollar you spend or are you hyperaware of the way people make you feel? is it both? is it neither? is there more?
some people are hyperaware of their thoughts, others are hyperaware of their environments, both of which can result in paranoia. you must see your hyperawareness as a gift, that way you can be released of its control. you must accept the current state of your life before you can implement any change, before you can let go. because that’s what you want after all, isn’t it? to be free from your self.
no, i don’t want to play candy crush saga with you
how about we have a conversation instead?