“I’ll take you on adventures.”
“Will you catch me if I fall?”
“Of course!”
“What about mentally?”
“I’m your superman!!”

I’m such a romantic. It’s scary.

I hate how you make me grumpy. I hate how I was so grumpy at you and I threw a water bottle at your face and you just laughed. I hate how I was upset at the money I had to pay for my car and you just kept making jokes to make me laugh. I hate how you hold the door for me and helped me packed my car. I hate how you look at me from across the room. I hate how you became friends with every single friend I befriended at the rave..because you are just that friendly. I hate how I told you I was going to start crying if you didn’t leave me alone as a joke. I hate how you told me you never know what to do with girls when they cry. I hate that it doesn’t matter to me. I hate how you are just like me at raves. I hate how I was trying to sleep and I went under the covers and I would peek and you would be there laughing. I hate that you are so loud. I hate how I fit perfectly in your arms and how our legs tangle. I hate your stupid annoying laugh that anyone could hear from a mile away. I hate how you party just as hard as I do at raves. I hate that you held my hand and spun me around. I hate how you refused to let me sleep and then you ended up falling asleep before me. I hate how you don’t smoke, but you took a drag with me. I hate how you kiss me on the cheek. I hate your muscles and I hate your style and I hate how we have the same favorite season for the same reason. I hate that I went to go sit outside and you followed me. I hate how you didn’t let me sleep so I left the living room and went to go sleep in the hallway by the bathroom and you followed me and lay there with me until our friends called you back. I hate how you sang at the top of your lungs with me. I hate that you sat with me and massaged my arms until they felt better because I pulled a muscle. I hate how you will never shut up. I hate that in any way we sat, it would feel so comfortable. I hate how perfect it felt when you put your head on my stomach. I hate that you tickle me but that you are the only person who I would allow to tickle me. I hate how you were able to keep me on your shoulders for so long. I hate how I sang to you, “You’re like a shot of pure gold” and you just smiled and called me cute. I hate how you weren’t even on any drugs or drunk and you were still really nice to me. I hate how all of us were trying to sleep on the floor and every time you leaned forward to tell our friends something, you would sometimes pull me closer. But that I love every single part of you. You’re fucking crazy and I can’t keep up with you but it makes me want to. I love that I am able to ground you. 

I think I will always care for you in a way that is different from other boys. Something real but not strong. I think you are teaching me to let go. And I like that. To live, to live, and to live. To never..never take anything seriously.

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