I always hate reality after raves. Because the atmosphere of a rave is what I’ve imagined my whole life. A world that the second you walk into, your spirit feels free. You become that freedom you’ve searched for your whole life.

I wish and I wish. I wish too much. I wish for too many unrealistic aspects of life. I wish that everyone could love each other. I wish that everyone would hold hands. I wish that none of us would ever have to want love, because it would always be by our side. I wish people were never closed. I wish people were less serious. I wish people would stop being governed by fear, by this idea that people are judging us, and that even if they are, why it should never have to matter. I wish people always had a shoulder to lean on. I wish people would always fall in love as much as I do, because it’s nice to be in love.. not with people, but with the life in people and the people in life. With the sky we live under and the ground we walk on.

“You make so many friends at raves!”

I guess it’s true. The friends I make at raves hold the key to my heart in a way that other people will never be able to. For them to see in my complete natural state and to exchange a smile and a hug that will last a lifetime. At least I know that the world that I’ve always been dreaming of does exist. And when reality isn’t enough, I can dream of a world that does exist, a world that I’ve been in. A world that I’ll return to.

“Do you ever regret getting into the rave scene?”
“No, I think it’s beautiful.”

I wish people stopped being afraid. I’m going to stop being afraid, or to at least be afraid and embrace all of it. And when I am actually afraid, to tell myself that it’s okay, that this fear I feel must be worth it. I used to be afraid to be happy because it meant that someday my world would come crashing down. And I realize it’s not so scary anymore, and maybe one day I won’t be as happy as I am now, but the purpose is to enjoy it right now. To stop worrying about the future, because the future will always play out in a way that is completely unimaginable, and there is no reason to try to secure it. It’s unrealistic of us to place this thought in our minds that we are able to be constantly happy, but to even try, to even give yourself that chance, is well, absolutely incredible. So many of us walk around half-alive, content with ourselves. But how many of us strut a smile and truly enjoy every moment and breathe in every breath of fresh air? We can’t expect ourselves to be that happy all the time without crashing sometimes. And it’s okay to crash. It’s okay to be upset as long as we look at the bigger picture of who you are and who you’re going to be. That just because you’re sad in a moment..doesn’t mean you won’t be happy later, if not happier.

I can’t live in fear anymore. Every time I do, I lose a part of myself and then I have to slowly place the pieces back together. Everyone should embrace each day with less fear than they did yesterday. Life is so majestic. We are the only ones who create stress for ourselves. We are the ones who cloud our own judgment.